Friday, March 9, 2012
Chicago Baby Launches New Line of Exclusive Junior Lounge Wear
Inspired by a rare back-to-back viewing of Forever Lazy and Pajama Jeans commercials, a young Chicago entrepreneur named Bub has just announced a new clothing label called Happy Pants.
“This concept has never been done before; it is essentially upscale uber-chic loungewear for babies,” Bub said.
A cursory visit to Happypants.com revealed that these aren’t your Aunt Connie’s sweatpants; prices start at $179 a pair.
“Our company motto is ‘Made for everybody, worn by somebodies.’” Bub said. “And please, these are not sweatpants. Sweating is so…pedestrian. These are loungepants. For lounging.”
Asked to clarify the difference between the two, he said, “Simple: You won’t find these at Wal-Mart.”
When questioned about the exorbitant prices, especially in such a wounded economy, Bub replied:
“These are completely hand-stitched, one pair at a time, by my manservant Daddy. It’s essentially a two-man operation here: we get an order, I oversee production, manservant stitches and ships. I also model.”
Maybe manservant isn’t the most politically correct term for his father?
“Yet eerily accurate, right?” Bub countered. “Hey, if the Happy Pants fit…And they always do, I might add. That’s guaranteed.”
Manservant Daddy was not granted permission to speak to us.
When asked if these weren’t just Juicy pants for babies, Bub said, “I’ve got your Juicy pants right here! No, I’m serious, I require changing. Please fetch my manservant.”