Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Book-loving Baby Branded ‘Huge Nerd’ by Father



In the techno-baby age when most parents openly bribe their kids to put down the remote or turn off the XBox, one Chicago father has taken a very different t stance of his knowledge-thirsty son.

“He’s a huge nerd,” the father, known as Daddy, said, claiming that his son, Bub, will sometimes sit through 200 or more readings in one day.

“I'm standing right here,” Bub responded.

“I finish reading a book, he hands it back to me, demands an encore. It’s annoying,” Daddy said. “How many times can Little Lamb find his fucking friends, seriously?”

Asked what he’d rather be doing than educating his son, Daddy said simply, “Playing video games.”

“No, seriously,” he elaborated, “It’s not natural. I’m all like, ‘C’mon, Bub, let’s go wreck some Ferraris and kick some prostitutes!’ and he’s all like, (ridiculous Cockney accent) ‘No fanks, father, I’d rather prefer less codswallop and more lad’s book resuscitations. Cheers, mate.’”

Bub is British?

“If by British, you mean a huge nerd, then yes,” Daddy said.

“Here’s the thing about children’s books,” Daddy continued. “They suck. Take Little Bear is Hungry, for example. Five second synopsis: Bear goes around and asks everyone in the forest for a snack. They all tell this mooch to get bent. Then his mom gives him a piece of toast. The end. Not exactly Shakespeare. It’s not even a complete thought, let alone a story.”

When told that repetition and word association are key for brain development and language acquisition, Daddy said, “Yeah, right, hippie. That sounds like Star Trek or something.”

Bub said, “Could you please repeat that, hippie?”

2 comments:

  1. Why don't you write childrens books for Bub!?!

    ReplyDelete
  2. What do you think this entire blog is???

    ReplyDelete