So Bub has started calling me by my first name. This is
weird on many levels. It cuts me pretty deep, actually. All this work, all this
sacrifice, and you just refer to me like your poker buddy or co-worker? Get it
straight, Bub. We’re neither poker buddies nor co-workers. I work for you, yet
I’m your boss. It’s complicated. But the name remains the same. And that name
is Daddy, damnit.
I’m not gonna lie, it was a minor relief when I finally realized
what he was saying. For the first week or so, I thought he was calling me Trash.
It made sense. He knows what trash is, he knows who I am. Wait…No, I’d like to
think it was an honest mistake. I’d like to, but I don’t. Truly, nothing says holly
jolly household like coming from work to have your son point at you and yell, “Trash!”
Oh, I’m kidding, of course. I don’t have a job.
He obviously got this nasty little habit from my wife. She
insists on calling me by my name, despite my pleadings for her to refer to me
as Daddy (it’s been an ongoing source of tension in our relationship over the
years). So the only logical defense I have is to teach him her name. See how
she likes that one.
Actually, my wife loves nothing better than the sound of her
own name. She loves the way it fills the airspace and dances around her
eardrums. In fact, the only thing she likes more than hearing her name spoken
is hearing her name yelled in a deep canyon. Falling asleep to her name on a
one-track CD on repeat.
She always complains I don’t call her by her name enough. Don’t
take it personal, Wifey. I rarely call anybody by their Christian name. I don’t
know why. It’s probably some sort of deep-rooted psychological detachment/intimacy issue. It’s not you, it’s me. At least I don’t call you Trash.
The only part that reeks of deliberate on his part is that he
has no other titular problems—Mommy, Nana, Bubbe, Boompah, even Doctor, for
shit’s sake. Yeah, I said "titular."
If this keeps up, I may just return the favor, start calling him by his real
name. Ah, probably not, though. Let’s be honest. Let's not get too personal, Bub.
Love the Boompah!! That's gonna be a keeper name I bet!! As far as Trash you better start working on his j sound I love reading your posts Mr. Trash!! No just kidding , Josh.
ReplyDeleteActually, Trash is growing on me =)
ReplyDelete