So I’ve decided to teach Bub how to play games. The boy is two now, and it’s about time to learn some useful life lessons gaming can teach, such as:
1. Talking shit both efficiently and crushingly.
2. Winning means never having to say ‘Nice game.’
3. It’s only cheating if you get caught.
We started with the easiest game I could think of, Hide-and-Seek. This went through several different incarnations, sub-games, as he processed the apparently overly-complex rules of the game. These are the interpretations of those games, as told by Bub:
1. Count-and-Seek. Daddy count to ten (Good job, Daddy!). Why is he counting? I count now? Bub count. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Yesssss! I did it!
2. Stand-There-Like-a-Hump-and-Seek. Ooooh, more counting! Why are your eyes closed? Daddy sleeping! Daddy, wake up! Oh, Daddy up. Found me? Yay, Daddy found me! High five, Daddy!
3. Hide-Behind-Table-and-Jump-Out-and-Seek. Where’d Daddy go? Ooh, ten! There he is. I found Daddy! Yesss. Bub wins!
So we switched roles…
4. Fast-Count-and-Seek. Onetwothreefourfivesixseveneightnineten! Ooh, Daddy running. I found Daddy! Done! Yessssss!
5. Hide-and-Build-Tower-With-Bankie-and-Seek. …eight, nine, ten! Where’d Daddy go? Daddy in kitchen! Nope. Daddy in pantry! Nope. Daddy in living room! Nope. Ohhh, blocks. Hello, blocks. Bankie, build tower blocks? Ooookay! Oh, beautiful tower. Yay, Bankie!