Good at parties. Great icebreakers. Insult the defenseless!
Your baby is so ugly The Elephant Man slapped him.
Your baby is so stupid he thought MTV Cribs was going to document his bed.
Your baby is so fat he wears a Foursie.
Your baby is so poor he tried to get a deposit from his mom on his milk bottle.
Your baby is so pale the city salts him in the winter.
Your baby smells so bad that when skunks see him, they douse themselves in tomato juice.
Your baby's ears are so big Michael Phelps bought them a lap dance.
Your baby's head is so bald, Goodyear recalled it.
Your baby is so dumb he thought a bassinet was a fishing device.
Your baby's head is so small and white Tiger Woods got incredible backspin on it.
Your baby's eyes are so far apart Jack Hanna tried to put him in a terrarium.