A Privates Matter

"Ehhhhh, I've seen bigger..."

I knew it was coming. My SUBTERFUGE could only buy me so much time. He finally pinned me down, armed with the language he's been waiting months to acquire. During a diaper change, this time, and there was nowhere to hide.

Bub: What’s this?

Me: ….

Bub: (grabbing it to eliminate any confusion) Daddy, what’s this?

Me: Well, Bub, that’s, uhhh…that’s a, um, good question.

Bub: Ooh, question! I got a question!

Me: No no no, okay. It’s not a question, it’s a…it’s your um, PRIVATES.

Bub: Ohhhhh, privates!

[Wipe wipe wipey wipe, he pulls his shirt down over it]

Bub: Where’d privates go?

Me: I’m not playing hide and seek with your privates, Bub.

Bub: There it is!

Me: Wow, great hiding place.But I’ve got a better one right here.

Bub: Where’d privates go?

Me: It’s in your diaper.

Bub: (clutching and grabbing) Oh, I found it! Probably pretty tired.

Me: You know, you’re probably right. Privates had a hard day.

Bub: Privates sleeeeeeeeeping!

Me: That’s right, Bub. Your privates are sleeping.