Suckubus

Halloween on a budget

Listen, this is why Bub sucks as a ghost:

Apropos of nothing much, I explained the other night after a bath that he should put his towel over his head and be a SPOOKY SPECTER! His first mission would be to go into the living room and scare the bejesus out of a half-conscious mommy.

We did a little impromptu training: “Hey, Bub, make this noise: UHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.”

And, done.

He seemed primed, so we gave it a trial run. I put the towel over his head, but he just kind of sat there, like the worst hiding place ever.

“No, Bub, you have to say boo!”

“Boo!” he said, throwing the towel off.

“Okay, now get out there and say boo to Mommy!”

He ran into the hallway, buck naked, and yelled, “Boo, mommy!” That would have scared the shit out of me. But luckily, Mommy didn’t even budge. We could still pull this off.

“Okay, nice boo,” I said. “But you have to get close to her earhole and really scream it, like this…BOO!” I said, thinking about how awesome this was going to be.

“BOO!” he yelled. I don’t know that I’ve ever been prouder of him. God, Mommy was going to be so pissed!

“Okay, we are definitely ready. You ready, champ?” Not exactly Drew Brees pre-game. Whatever.

“Ready!” he said.

“Okay, go get her!” I said, throwing the towel back over him.

He took about four steps, and SMACK! right into the wall.

Ghost, busted. Trick, treated. In his defense, he was not provided eyeholes. That was my bad. Maybe we’ll try a zombie instead.