On Caulk and Chalk

Man, English is hard, but it’s hardest on the little ones. Bub recently discovered a new way to dawdle away hazy summer afternoons: sidewalk chalk. Harmless, washable, non-toxic multi-colored sidewalk chalk. 

Only problem is his pronunciation hasn’t quite caught up to his newfangled artistic vision. In his defense, the ‘ch’ is a late-bloomer in the vast field of English phonetics, whereas the hard ‘c’ comes quite easily. And that makes for some funny-funny.

Here are some excerpts from today’s sidewalk adventure, written as Bub believes he said/heard them, not necessarily how they were actually delivered:

1.       Daddy: Bub, what’s that in your hand?

Bub: (with a small jump) Chalk!

2.       Daddy: Ooh, Bub, what color is your chalk?

Bub: Blue!

3.       Mommy: Bub, get that chalk out of your mouth!

4.       Daddy: Oh, Bub, you’ve got chalk all over your face.

5.       Mommy: Bub, please brush the chalk off your pants.

6.       Mommy: No, we do not use our chalk on the front porch.

7.       Mommy: Why don’t you give Daddy your chalk?

8.       Daddy: Why don’t we try one chalk at a time, Bub?

9.       Bub: More.

Daddy: Oh, you want some more juice?

Bub: No, chalk!

10.   Mommy: (in song) Chalk away, chalk away, it’s time to put our chalk away.

11.   Daddy: C’mon, Bub. Put your chalk in the box with the others.