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| Just look at that focus. |
Ah, the extremes of a talking toddler…Couple weeks ago, I put Bub to bed, ask him for a kiss, get one, then he says to me, ‘One more?’ I almost cried on the spot.
And then sometimes he says BOWLING 84 times in a row in the back seat, where, conveniently, ‘Daddy no reach.’ Actually, his L sucks, so it’s more like BOW-ING, BOOOOWING.
What? How? It was the Wii. Same place he got ‘BOOM!
Nice shot’ and ‘Doggy Swords.’ Don’t ask. Here is an excerpt from the conversation (with tactical
notes):
Bub: Boom, nice shot! Boom, nice shot! Ohhhhhhhh, bowing!
Bowing, bowing, bowing, bowing, bowing, bowing, bowing, bowing, bowing!
Me: (Play dumb, hope he confuses himself and says something
else) What’s that Bub?
Bub: Bowing, bowing, bowing, bowing, bowing bowing bowing!
Me: (Okay, acknowledge the word, he’ll move on) Oh, you want
to play bowling?
Bub: (Because his L’s suck) Pease?
Me: (Lying my ass off) Okay, maybe when we get home.
Bub: Bowing, bowing, bowing, bowing, bowing, bowing!
Me: (Telling the truth) We can’t bowl in the car, Bub. (Laying
some repeat bait) We don’t have any balls. Or pins. Or shoes.
Bub: Shoes OFF!
Me: (Riding great wave of success, getting cocky) Oh, you
took your shoes off, huh? (Getting cocky now) How many shoes do you have?
Bub: Two shoes. Bowing, bow--!
Me: (Desperation non-sequitur) How many feet do you have,
Bub?
Bub: Five! Bowing, bowing, bow--
Me: (Resorting to his language) Different one?
Bub: Ahhhhhh, NO, DaddYYY! Bowing, bowing, bowing, bowing, bowing,
bowing, bowing, bowing, bowing, bowing, bowing, bowing, bowing…
Me: (Marking it fucking zero, dude) Yeah, bowling. I love bowling. Hey Bub, have
you ever been bowling? It is AWESOME!!! (Turn radio up, sob quietly)
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