Thursday, February 20, 2014

Word Droppings

"We could be at Chucky Cheese right now." 'Totally.'

“Daddy, look at my inch!”
“Oh, do you mean your height?”
“Do you mean how tall you are? How many inches?”
“It’s called ‘height,’ Bub.”
“Mommy, wanna check my inch?”
“Bub, please, I’m eating.”

“Where are my privates? WHERE ARE MY PRIVATES?”

“Daddy, there’s something hanging there on my butt.”
“Yeah, it’s called a dingle—aww, never mind. Just don't touch it.”
“What’s it doing there on my butt, Daddy? It’s just hanging there like a monkey.”

“I’m the ballholder, Daddy. I just hold ALL the balls.”

Mommy: Ow, Bub, you just hit in me in the head with that.
Daddy: Bub, what do you say?
HP: Thank you!

Bub: Mommy, where are you hands?
Mommy: They’re in your pants, Bub.

Daddy: That’s right, HP, we’re putting on your tights. There you go.
HP: Tits.

“Daddy, when Mommy wakes up, I’m going to do her."

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